I walk through my front door to have the pong of fart slapping me in the face.
Following the scent through to the kitchen dirty dishes tile the table. Some plates were washed so long ago they are now dirty because they havn't been put away.
Passion fruit is dried crust into the table cloth.
I'm not game to take off my shoes, not because i don't want to get cold toes but because the mushrooms on the floor will stick to the soles of my feet.
I can't shit upstairs because im 90% sure a beer bottle got flushed down the toilet at Elbey's 21st. The plumber's been coming for a month but no one wants to pay him.
The bar heater in the shower rules. I flick it on knowing one day i'll forget to turn it off and probably burn the place down. I thought shower curtains are meant to stop water from hitting the floor but ours looks like a massive swab of aids. But honestly who gives a fuck about that when you have a scientific miracle growing from your floorboards..
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